In the windward of isolation pavement

Author: Amal Radwan (Palestinian poet)

Translator: Hassan Hegazy (Egypt)

The unknown that is buried behind my heart 

I much fear it condensing illusion 

Over the ledges of its cover 

I fear it concealing in its soft fine clouds  

the moons of my dream 

For fear that the hand of my mind to stretch,  

shaking me ..

Waking me up..

With a cynical blame

from the wandering of my  agonies  

*

How can I grant you my heart now  

 and it was kidnapped by the angels of love

To a space in the open air   

*

How can the vibrations of desires to calm down 

when they ripple lightly in the spaces of fantasy?

How and its echo splitting the veil of the will

and stop towards them helpless .. 

strayed, out of soul ! 

*

Ah …!

How miserable is the woman 

When she is taken, with constrained desire, 

to the dungeon of her impossible dreams.. 

As if longing is dropping the nymphs of dreams

 in the depths of their  pits 

Interbreeding terrible births

Leaving them as love embryos 

On their waiting breasts

*

 I may have exhausted you; 

With the noise of my thoughts, 

With the loudness of my heart

I feel guilty

When I stone you with the needles of my senses

And no sin from me to commit

Only you may just incur and suffer

 from the crime of my judgment   

*

I feel a strange comfort

When I punish you with my revenge

With blemish blame 

*

I need you..

With your breeze, I will be my own 

And with your dust I will lose my own 

So, do not pour the juices of your soul 

In the cups of my weakness

Do not pierce the husk of my hopes 

I fear you facing its naughty encounter 

 So do not wake yearning inside me

 you have drowned it in fast sleep!

*

Will you overwhelm me every time With the moments of your sorrow and   torture,

You may kill fear and suspicion inside me 

*

How can I order myself to leave you?

Your heart has occupied me

Your spirit is revealed in the mirrors of my soul 

And you are my shadow

Always adjacent to me letter..

My fear..

My kindness..

I am the polished with you / the mortgaged for you 

How long I have become a pledge to your charm! 

I get frightened when I feel the longing 

Clothing me with the dress of sin   

I get terrified, running away

Terrified, getting away  

So as not to suffer in my loneliness

the needles of pain

Do not let me a quiver 

In the windward of isolation pavement

Though those breezes have become the solace for me, comforting me, and have made me sleep!

- Book: A glowing luscious smile 

- (poetry) Amal Radwan (Palestinian poet)- First Edition – 2005

فِي مَهَبِّ رَصِيفِ عُـزْلَـةٍ!/ آمال عوّاد رضوان

الْمَجْهُولُ الْيَكْمُنُ .. خَلْفَ قَلْبِي

كَمْ أَرْهَبُهُ .. يَتَكَثَّفُ وَهْمًا

عَلَى .. حَوَافِّ غِلَافِهِ

أَخشَاهُ يَحْجُبُ بِرَائبِ غَيْمِهِ أَقْمَارَ حُلُمِي

أَنْ تَتَطَاوَلَ يَدُ عَقْلِي

تَهُزُّنِي .. تُوقِظُنِي 

بِلُؤْمٍ سَاخِرٍ

مِنْ سَكْرَاتِي الْهَائِمَةِ

كَيْفَ أَمنَحُكَ قَلْبِيَ الْآنَ

وَقَدِ اخْتَطفَتْهُ مَلَائِكةُ الْحُبِّ

 إِلَى فُسْحَةٍ فِي الْعَرَاءِ؟

*

كَيْفَ لَهَا أَنْ تَهْدَأَ ذَبْذَبَاتُ الرَّغَبَاتِ

حِينَ تَتَمَاوَجُ فِي فَضَاءَاتِ الْخَيَالِ ؟

كَيْفَ وَصَدَاها يَشُقُّ حِجَابَ الْإِرَادَةِ

وَتَرْكُنَ حِيَالَهَا عَاجِزًا .. شَارِدَ الرُّوحِ !

*

آهٍ .. مَا أَشْقَاهَا الْمَرْأَةُ

حِينَ تُسَاقُ مُقَيَّدَةَ الرَّغْبَةِ 

إِلَى زِنْزَانَةِ أَحْلَامِهَا الْمُسْتَحِيلَةِ 

كَأَنَّ الشَّوْقَ يَرْمِي حُورِيَّاتِ الْأَحْلَامِ

فِي سَحِيقِ هَاوِيَاتِهَا

يُهَجِّنُ وِلَادَاتٍ رَهِيبَةٍ 

يَتْرُكُهَا أَجِنَّةَ حُبٍّ عَلَى ثَدْيِ انْتِظَارِهَا

*

قَدْ أَكُونُ أَرْهَقْتُكَ ؛

بِضَجِيجِ فِكْرِي .. بِضَوْضَاءِ قَلْبِي

أَشْعُرُ بِالذَّنْبِ

حِينَمَا أَرْجُمُكَ بِإِبَرِ أَحَاسِيسِي

وَمَا مِن ذَنْبٍ أَقْتَرِفُهُ

سِوَى أَنْ تَتَكَبَّدَ جَرِيمَةَ حُكْمِي

أُحِسُّ برَاحَةٍ غَرِيبَةٍ

حِينَمَا أُوقِعُ بِكَ قِصَاصِي 

بِلُؤْمٍ أَبْلَهٍ

أَحْتَاجُ إِلَيْكَ ..

بِنَسِيمِكَ أَكُونُ مَلَكْتُنِي

وَبِغُبَارِكَ أَكُونُ خَسِرْتُنِي

فَلَا تَسْكُبْ عُصَاراتِ رُوحِكَ

فِي كُؤُوسِ ضَعْفِي

وَلَا تَقُضَّ قِشْرَةَ آمَالِي 

أَرْهَبُ عَلَيْكَ مُنَازَلَتَهَا الشَّقِيَّةَ

وَلَا تُوقِظْ بِي حَنينًا .. أَغْرَقْتُهُ فِي سُبَاتِ !

*

لَيْتَكَ تَغْمُرُنِي كُلَّ آنٍ

بِلَحَظَاتِ حُزْنِكَ وَعَذَابِكَ

فَقَدْ تَقتُلُ بِيَ الْخَوفَ وَالشَّكَّ

*

كَيْفَ آمُرُنِي أَنْ أُغَادِرَكَ ؟

قَلْبُكَ احْتَلَّنِي 

رُوحُكَ تَتَجَلَّى فِي مَرَايَا رُوحِي

وَأَنْتَ ظِلِّي الْمُلَاصِقُ 

بِحَرْفِي .. بِخَوْفِي .. بِعَطْفِي 

أَنَا الْمَصْقُولَةُ بِكَ / الْمَرْهُونَةُ لَكَ

كَمْ بِتُّ رَهِينَةَ رَوْعَتِك !

أَرْتَاعُ حِينَمَا أُحِسُّ بِالشَّوْقِ

يُدَثِّرُنِي بِثَوْبِ الْإِثْمِ 

أَرْهَبُ وَأَهْرُبُ

كَيْ لَا أُكَابِدَ فِي وَحْدَتِي 

مَغَارِزَ الْأَلَمِ

لَا تَتْرُكْنِي رَعْشَةً .. فِي مَهَبِّ رَصِيفِ عُزْلَةٍ 

رَغْمَ أَنَّ تِلْكَ النَّسَائمَ أَصْبَحَتْ 

تَطِيبُ لِي وَتُغْفِينِي !

من الديوان (بسمة لوزيّة تتوهّج- عام 2005)